You can't define love, only describe it

Sometimes

It is just hard to keep away from thinking of you

Your voice

Your whispers

They are everywhere

Tried hard

but to no avail

We have come a long way

From our past

Sometimes

I feel you

I feel you talking to me

Even though we've not spoken for weeks, for months

About Love

interestingly

it pulls one apart

breaks one down to little pieces

yet renews, refreshes one

About Love

it removes your idealistic notion

and shows u the way

The way

The way that u so desire

U question it

it questions you

Love

I've wanted love for so long

so young

Mine would be a fairytale

a dream i so desire

till now

I ain't sure what that is

Who that is

What it'll be

Who cares

No one should care

They do not lead my life

I lead mine

So no one should question when i should be married

my age

my dating life

and so on

Tay to Me on 23 June 2007 @ 3.24am

Tay Pruecksamars to me

show details 6/23/07

i searched a little for the meaning of the dream u had and the conclusion i came to is that: snake = guy's sexual energy, chasing you = threatening.. which probrably translate to mean that we shouldnt have sex when you are scratched or without a dommie.

and as i was surfing around, i found this guy's dream to be most amusing.. >

Dream one I had this dream about 3 years ago -
I dreamt that I was the smartest person in the world (infintely smart). I was at conference having a spa with a whole bunch of scientists and intellectuals there was this one particular girl who dubious about my intellect. Until a lion jumped in the spa with us and gave me a hug..

Dream two (I had this dream about twenty years ago when I was 8)...
I was at a dinner party. I remember there were a whole bunch of tables. Everyone had to take turns getting drinks from the kitchen. Everytime someone got drinks from the kitchen there was almighty crash but the person said when they came out that nothing happened. Finally it got to my turn, I went into the kitchen heard no crash.. walked out with the drinks.. everyone stood pealed off their skin and clothes to reveal their 'alien skin' and started waltzing.

Dream 3 ( I had this last week) -
I had a dream where I made the discovery that ants were made from the same enzymes as memories.

Dream one I think is probably stemmed from my desire to prove myself to everybody. Dream Two is probably to do with some fear of being left out..and afraid of the unknown. Dream Three is just completely ridiculous...

hope all is fine,

6 Sep 2007 at 10:39am

This i really wonder why we have worked out so much.
Maybe, a letter a day would do me good.

The time we stayed at phranakon was the most beautiful and lasting
memories i've had.
it was unforgettable where time stood at a still.

it felt we were alone together.

i fell in love once again.

Sparks at the balcony made me recall of the time when u sent me a
pic of a heart made with swirling sparkles. i missed you...

if u had loved me, u wouldn't had rejected me. when u said u loved me,
were u reluctant?

if u did loved, then why are u reluctant? times when u said u'll be down again and again. why is it hard. i wonder how you would not
understand me.

did u not feel loved; u said u always felt the need to take care of me.

i'm not a yuoung kid. was it because u were projecting your
weakness onto me?
silly me, i let you do that. i obliged to the things u wanted me to give and suggested. maybe i wanted to give you all my love, maybe i felt my love was never enough. the feelings i'm having are erratic and
i think it could be hostile. so i tried to compensate by giving u
surprises that i've done what i thought u would like

through your words..

giving myself a shave, doing yoga, dressing well and conservatively,
making friends, watching shows that u've watched, smoking shisha and more recently playing games..

i told myself they were part of being a couple and doing things that each other liked. but u took it as me giving you too much love. maybe
what i did was overdoing for a long-distance thing. i don't know.

maye i've never had a chance to be intimate with you. to say the words I've wanted to say
out. i guess i can never do it,, because i fear rejection. which is already the case. when i have an emotional outbursts.. usually concerning us, you've gotta bear with it.

u said it was not because i'm over emotional. then what is it?

i keep finding out what was wrong with me...

that i could have done something better. i wanted perfection, i wanted you. i still want you, and i
still hope you would someday come back to me. i've not forget the times together, the things u said over the phone and how nice u were to me

but u did not love me. not now, not anymore. not forever. u needed to find other partners, u needed variety, i'm thinking of then when u send
messages to this girl. i can't stop you by questioning you.

we are lovers

but i've invaded some sort of distrust

so it's unfair to speak of
it. i guess .. i m not sure.

i hope you can give me an answer. an answer of some sort.

but the answer lies within me. i know i'm a nice girl. and that's why you have loved me for so long.

We could have ended earlier. but maybe now is the time for us to leave each other.

While you feel a need and urge to explore..

And so i should accept

with grace.

that this has an end to it.

The night u left me at samran place was almost unbearable.

i wanted to
die. and leave. i wanted something. safe, closeness. but it was
heart-wrenching. all the things u said in the hotel.. u just wanted to
feel better and i let you in. once more. i could not bear it, and u
left. u did not sent me to the airport. how do i forgive.

i wanted closure, for the girl u called dear. but it's my doing for
checking you phone. i feel a need to, and urge to know your
whearabouts. but yet i feel further from you. further and further away. the trust is lost..and so is our relationship.

tay i'm sorry for what i've done. but i've always ben faithful to you.

I wanted an outcome

but u wanted an ending.

So that's our parallel lives.