evil spirits

yo semidee yo semidee.. the world is my playground.
likes of a window, tucked under the sheets.
paintings of renoir, dreams on my bed

a sawdust, watering my eyes
the crying of the unspoken heart

evil thoughts of sunshine and rain
both come together to create distraught in the minds

little by little they come inevitably
my hearts aflaming
my soul's drowning in the tidal waves

the sea, the wind, the natures of this world
becomes emotions of my heart

likes of likes 'evils from within
can u picture the words of my heart?

Long time..

So i haven't had any impulse to write and inspiration to post.
i do actually have lots of impulses and they stop when i turn the com. my mind is not ready to say stuff to words.. should i think before i write or write what comes ? my English is soo bad as said by my sister. am i really horrible? do i take things personally.. why do i always defend myself i reflect on myself and block out bAD THOUGHTS ABOUT me. it wasn't meant to be in caps.. but i feel so much for this relationshop. i think we ;re stuck and don't know how to move on. even when i see him and when he does. i think we wil be back to the same. i'm stuck we're all stucjk. am i denying myself> i wonder... darn it's like forever.. i can't help it. blaocking it out... can't i can't help myself my life. am i a horrible person. selfish and all. yes it says. al i wanted is to get awya and hide from my things.. i feel like a wehat fo u call that. a spoilt brat? nope, a free-loader in my family. shucks i feel like a pain and i dissapointed so many . so much grammatical errors, i can take it. yoga ,,,,, helps me noe?? aahhh....i hae=ve so much yet so little. i have so little yet so much. both ways, mentally emotionalydfhoasjfoajsfojoasf sick head in the head.