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hello you there
i feel shameful of myself
losing hiding in one corner hiding myself
away from him
how useless writing my feelings here ..writing my feelings here instead of showing him
i want to show someone my blog

but who?
him? my sis?
pam?
will i be able to write once more?
how will i feel?


like a sponge
absoring the thougths of everyone
when willl it be too heavy?
when will it drain out and feel light again

sensitive insensitive
conscious unconscious
unfeeling

our relationship cant work
unless both put in the effort

genie my cousin i'm thinking of you
sometimes i feel i'm like you
hiding your moods in one box
forever searching
lost like a child losing its way home
i wonder how

tay, missing you
i hope to be hopeful

pessimist or optimist
half half
sometimes i feel like a pessimist
i fear this
i fear that
but i'm always hopeful


these days i'm not
i'm letting go hopes
im letting it be

there's a constant struggle
i want to know how all these happened
why it happened
my struggles