Long time..

So i haven't had any impulse to write and inspiration to post.
i do actually have lots of impulses and they stop when i turn the com. my mind is not ready to say stuff to words.. should i think before i write or write what comes ? my English is soo bad as said by my sister. am i really horrible? do i take things personally.. why do i always defend myself i reflect on myself and block out bAD THOUGHTS ABOUT me. it wasn't meant to be in caps.. but i feel so much for this relationshop. i think we ;re stuck and don't know how to move on. even when i see him and when he does. i think we wil be back to the same. i'm stuck we're all stucjk. am i denying myself> i wonder... darn it's like forever.. i can't help it. blaocking it out... can't i can't help myself my life. am i a horrible person. selfish and all. yes it says. al i wanted is to get awya and hide from my things.. i feel like a wehat fo u call that. a spoilt brat? nope, a free-loader in my family. shucks i feel like a pain and i dissapointed so many . so much grammatical errors, i can take it. yoga ,,,,, helps me noe?? aahhh....i hae=ve so much yet so little. i have so little yet so much. both ways, mentally emotionalydfhoasjfoajsfojoasf sick head in the head.