He

He doesn't call anymore
He stops praising me

It used to be when i msg
he'll almost immediately return the sms.

He stops saying i love yous
More recently, he hasn't replied to my msgs

If i'm away, he'll miss me.
and leave me an email or text.
he'll try till i think he's a little paranoid.

Right now
Morning greetings are just morn greetings.
I sense he's bored.

he left, with me tearing.
i felt like i was the one loving him more.
it didn't feel right. i had to love him more.

nothing about the photos we took.
nothing about wanting me.

only about him having a bad time.
only about his family.

we took great photos.
but he said i looked like a grandma.

awaiting, anticipation is high.


for your call...


when i said i couldn't call nor msg yest,
he didn't reply.

last nite, over msn,
while i was away, he just typed a lo?.
i was in the shower.
Did it take long?
he didn't wait. even thou we couldn't talked on phone last nite.

this afternoon,
i saw him came online briefly,
but upon checkin him a few mins later,
he's offline.
he could be wanting no interruption.

just now
i msegd him i've got my fone.
asked him how's things and said i missed him.

he hasn''t replied..

it usually takes half a min for him to msg
however, it's an hour ago..

we haven't communicate since yest aft.
yet he seems ok with it.
i'm afraid he's bored, worse, finding me bothersome.

I've opened up alot to you in sg.
my fears, my love for you.
my insaneness.
i wasn't shy, unlike what you said.

Yet, when my sis talked about you coming down in future,
you seemed like u didn't want to talk abt it.
you replied." i have to pass this year first, im still young."

after you left.

you told me you felt sad for me, but assured me you are "ok".
you told me you feel bad about how things were, and that thou we will not be married, that u still love me.

i felt a sharp pain and was unable to express my emotions
when you brought up the subject.
i still feel insecure abt those words.

maybe cuz i brought up negativeness abt our future.
but only because i wanted assurances from your words.

u gave me vague msgs to ponder.

at last, you affirmed to me we were to have a sad ending.

how am i to feel..

this long distance r/nship
i want it to last
not for fairytale dreams
but because i love you.

i feel sad
i tear when you aren't responding.

and it's cause i've missed you.